Michty Me!

I bought a thing on Amazon. I knew what I was looking for, I found it, I clicked the button and very soon it was mine to cherish and enjoy.
So why, when I go onto Amazon, do they now try to sell me the same thing again “Recommended for you: The same thing you just bought; The same thing you just bought but slightly different, The same thing you just bought but from a private seller; And now a completely unrelated item that we’re throwing in so that you think that we know you like our friend and we’re not a shop, we just like you visiting our internet home, you sap.”

Maybe I’m missing something, is my level of awareness above or below what they expect from me? Am I too dumb for their clever marketing ploy, or are they just a bunch of chancer bastards?
I mean, I bought a DVD, so why not sell me carpet slippers to wear while I’m watching it, or an easter egg to dip in my tea during the tense battle/chase/zombie awakening/Iggle Piggle losing his blanket moment, don’t try and sell me the same DVD in a two disc version, or the cookery book that you think will throw me off and make me impulse purchase.
No, I’m not your bitch, so stand down.

And then there’s ebay’s new “My Ebay” page, with special new features for the hard of thinking.


8 thoughts on “Michty Me!”

  1. About time we had an Iggle Piggle reference.

    Your next challenge is to slip in a homage to the Tombliboos

  2. As long as it doesn’t include visual references to their legwear continually falling down ;-)

  3. Ye gads, not more gratuitous close-ups of your saggy arse.

    Amazon, do the same to me – I bought a watch a few years ago and every week or so I get an email telling me all about the fab watches they sell – completely separate from the weekly email of recommendations JUST FOR ME!

    Wow, how did they know?

    But my favourite thing they do is when they not only suggest you buy item B, because you bought item A – but they go on to tell you that other folk, who bought the same thing as you, also bought this other stuff – yes, cos were all sheep really aren’t way – priceless

  4. “Fear not, the X Bionic wrire up will feature a guest model…”

    Please, please let it be Barnaby!

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