I felt like I had a greasy ear, or ears I should say, after my recent trip South. After coming home from camping a few days later I was feeling like I was a little underwater, a couple of days later I woke up and I was completely deaf.
The hearing in my left ear drifted back a little as the day went on and crackled in and out of use on its own recognizance. The right ear felt like a golf ball had been inserted, or maybe that ball from Phantasm, because the spikes came out now and again just to bring some variety to the programme. It was also unplugged at the exchange, I tapped at it, but there was no response and no dialling tone.
I know I’ve got some hearing damage from industrial wear and tear and years playing in bands, but the only big issues I’ve ever had with my ears was when I got some metal shards shot in one from a fanny using an angle grinder two feet away without giving me any any warning. The aftermath was inconvenient let’s say.
I had earache driving to Ayr in 1973 in the back of a Morris Minor too.
I stayed on the right side of panic, no doctor’s appointment was to be had, I didn’t fancy A+E, so I made do until I got to the Doc’s on Tuesday. Driving was a little strange, but constantly asking folk to repeat themselves was actually rather amusing, I reckon pensioners do it for kicks. Having only mono capacity meant I couldn’t tell what direction sound was coming from which is very odd indeed, having too look around to see what and where it is rather than go straight to it is a pain in the tits.
The locum doctor squeezed, peered and sighed. There’s some shit in there now (I think that’s what she said anyway, I’m hard of hearing remember), we’ll need to get that out before we can see what the cause is underneath. Take this written paper stuff and exchange for a remedy.
Olive bastard oil in a tiny pipetted bottle. What the hell man? I was disappointed to say the least.
Still, despite the immediate plans for taking this lightweight cooking oil dispenser camping instead to go with the Jetboil frying pan (coming soon), I stuck with the programme of drops and lying down and ruining every t-shirt or cushion I dripped near. And now, as of today, the right ear is switching on and off with loud cracks that coincide with changes of pressure and adjustments to balance and navigational control. I feel that progress is being made in one direction or the other.
I know it’s an entirely minor ailment, but bloody hell you don’t half have your knees wobbled when one of your senses gets a temporarily out of order sign hung on it.